"We have to learn to be our own best friends, because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies."

Week 6: Yes 6, already!!!
Wow how time flies. Sorry this hasn't been updated!!! Three weeks ago I went back to Como for class and have had to go back every weekend since. Without weekends being a 'relax' time the days just all fly by together. I used all my good luck up early with four snow days in the first week. Now when I really need them and everyone else has them... I sadly, don't.

Even though I feel like I'm giving 150% effort (or at least 10+ hours a day), I'm not teaching at 100%. I make things harder on myself than I should, but I keep telling myself that student teaching is a learning experience. I love being down here and everything. If I'm hired in another couple months is a whole other dilemma! 39 student teachers from MU and MSU alone this spring so it'll most likely be pretty competitive out there.

It's weird growing up. I don't feel like it's my senior year in college. Almost in a way I feel like student teaching right now is a dream, that I'll wake up in a couple weeks and it'll only be my junior year in college, with all of this still to come. Hopefully that's normal. :)

I've decided that I'm having a harder time because for the first time in my life, I'm the priority. Usually I devote all my energy in organizations and work that my classes and homework become second. Man, is that kicking me in the butt now! I know teaching should be like 'work' but right now it's feeling a whole lot like classes. Some moments are of pure brilliance while others are far, far from even intelligence. I've always strived for perfection in everything I set out to do. Perfection not good, not great, but perfection. There is no perfection in teaching. It's a hard lesson to be learning during student teaching on top of everything else.

I've gone through every emotion from loving it to thinking there is no possible way I am or ever will be good at this. One day I will have climbed Mountain Curriculum, stand at the top and realize every struggle and challenge along the way was worth it. That's what keeps me in it. That's what keeps me teaching. It's the hardest, most challenging decision I've ever made.

Anyway I get to try out the ropes in training Farm Management and Entomology... sounds familiar, eh? (Harder to train than do!!!)Also helping with Dairy Cattle Judging and maybe a Knowledge team but that's going down the drain the more time that passes... Randy's training Dairy Foods, Soils, and Meats. We also have 2 speakers and Job Interview. In other words, March is packed!
 
I'm looking forward to the day I get a better handle on what I'm doing. Right now I'm flying by the seat of my pants, kicking to keep my head above water and praying that the kids stay good! Oh and learning everything I'm teaching. Most days I wonder, have I actually been in college the past 3 1/2 years?!?
 
Miss Ficken's Quotes
Senior boys in Conservation come in while I'm erasing the board. I hear them whisper to each other "No, you do it." "Do it, just do it, it'll be funnn..." "Oh come on." I think the worst. Say a little prayer to God that whatever they have planned ranks about a 5 on the scale because I'm in no mood for an 8 or 9 today...
Then, Alex says, "Miss Ficken, can I ask you a serious question?"
Ok, I'm officially thrown for a loop. "Yes Alex, what's up?"
Alex: "What...do tigers dream of when they take a little tiger snooze?"
O.M.G. Hold it together!!!! I smile but don't laugh.
James starts singing, very seriously from the back of the room, "What do tigers dream of...(I walk towards him, chuckling now)... when they take a little tiger snooze?"
Me, almost whispering, "Do they dream of mauling zebras or halle berry in her catwoman suit?"
Four boys' jaws drop to the ground. Miss Ficken chuckles a little louder. James proceeds to serenade me with the entire Doug Song from The Hangover as if he was getting paid $1M to perform it on Broadway. Miss Ficken is laughing to almost tears! I had made a point to not laugh and ignore all Hangover comments prior to this, but this one broke me.
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Freshman Boy, Zack: "Miss Ficken, ...You ...Are ...Weird."
"Thank you Zack. Everyone's weird in their own way." 
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"Miss Ficken, considering that you're nice to us and all... a real nice thing to do would be to allow us to use our notes for this test."
"Ummm.... let me see... No."
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Last Tuesday, I told Zack "Do math homework in my class again, and you'll be going to math class without it." He chuckled.
Apparently, he didn't believe me. Friday rolls around. He does math homework. Guess who's laughing now?!? Miss Ficken=1. Zack=-1... Math Assignment!
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Today, Lane comes to class sets his stuff down. I look down and see a math book. I look up at Lane. He immediately grabs the math book throws it under his seat and announces "I just have it with me, I SWEAR!" Awww... sweet, sweet success!
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"Miss Ficken, can I go to the bathroom?" ...this is the most impowering question to be asked ;)
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After freshman, Brody, gives his practice debate in class... worth 30 points.
"Oh man, that sucked! I bet I only got 10 points on that. I was bad, really bad."
Me: "Now Brody, don't worry, you did NOT get 10 points. pause You only got 5." pause... Laughter errupts, Brody is really worried, "Just kidding Brody, you got more than 10!" Brody tells me, "That was a good one."
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I told Conservation class that I hope it stops snowing because I need to go back to Columbia this weekend.
Alex: "Back to Columbia?"
Me: "Yes...?"
Alex: "Don't you live in Columbia?"
Me: "Yes, yes I do. I drive 3 hours one way every day."
Alex: "Oh, so you have an apartment somewhere?!?"
Sonja, without missing a beat: "No, she lives in a cardboard box on the outside of town."
The boys believe her for a good 20 seconds.
Me: "I do NOT live in a box. I have an apartment."
Alex: "Oh... and all your friends live in Columbia?"
Me: "Yes"
Alex: "Have you made friends with BSU students? Like 'Hey I'm in college too!?!'"
Me: "Uh...no."
Alex: "Well then WHAT do you DO?"
Me: "Excuse me?"
Alex: "What do you do at night, after school, do you just go home and watch TV from 3-10. I mean what do you do till the next day at school?"
Me: "Alex, do you SEE the worksheet that's in front of your face?!? ...I do those. I make those and then I grade those. That's what I do. I don't go make friends, I don't watch TV all night."
Alex: "Oh yeah this would take some time... So do they pay for your apartment?"
Me: "They?"
Alex: "Yeah like MU"
Me: "No, I pay for my apartment. I pay for a college class to student teach. It's 12 hours of class. MU averages about $289 per hour. So why don't you calculate how much I'm paying to see your smiling face everyday?"
Sonja: "That's $3,468"
Alex: "AND you pay for your apartment?"
Me: "Yes"
Alex: "How do you afford it?"
Me: "I've known it was coming. I planned ahead."
Alex, underneath his breath "I'm never becoming a teacher. That...must...suck!"
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I give out Tootsie Rolls as prizes for questions randomly throughout the lesson. Today my sophomores were in a Battle for the Rolls. The aftermath of one question in the battle, after I explained the answer after all were stumped.
Eric, hitting Adam on the shoulder: "Oh I told you!"
Me: "Excuse me?! Told him what that deserved a hit?"
Eric: "I told him the ANSWER! Do I get a tootsie roll?!?"
Me: "Why didn't you say the answer out loud before I explained the answer?"
Eric: "Because I didn't want to be wrong."
Me: "Well Eric, how will you ever be right if you're always afraid of being wrong?"
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In Ag Econ...
Me: "We have lots to do today. I need everyone to give 100% today."
Garrett: "Miss Ficken, I give you 100% everyday."
Me: "Oh you do, do ya Garrett?"
Garrett: "Yeah... didn't you know I was perfect? 100% is the only thing I'm capable of!"
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Many more... too little time! ;)
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Thought of the Week(s)
Do you think we are amazing at something that we just have never tried OR that whatever we are amazing at we are naturally drawn to try?
 
I will take a relaxed classroom atmosphere, where kids feel like they can come be themselves, ANYDAY over a strict, uptight classroom where kids are walking around on pins and needles. I believe kids learn better when they are comfortable. I deem it a breakthrough when the 'cool' becomes answering questions in class. I believe I've hit the jackpot when my kids are so comfortable in my class they can say "I don't get it" and they KNOW no one will make fun of them for it. I want to be the class they tell their parents about without them having to ask "What did you learn today?" That's more like a soapbox than a thought but it's the number one thing on my mind this week!